Tokyo Time
Seoul Time
Annyeong everyone,
Unfortunately this idiom doesn't apply to me. Ever since I was 12 I've had trouble sleeping. I've absolutely no problem with waking up though; I always wake up at 10 to 6 am. ALWAYS. No matter if it's the weekend or a holiday. I might stay in bed longer, but I'll always be doing something. Reading, thinking, daydreaming. Anything but sleeping.
It's just my biological clock, can't help it. But sleeping, now that's the real problem. It takes several hours for me to fall asleep, even when I'm dead tired. I've tried to make myself physically tired, didn't work. I've tried listening to music, didn't work. It even makes it worse.
You see, even when I'm not listening to music, there's always a song playing in my head. Even if I'm busy with other things, there's always a song playing through my mind on repeat. I can't seem to stop it, merely change the song. OTL
I've even tried to empty my mind - which I'm no good at, I fail miserably at meditating - but all that happens is this: I try to force my thoughts out by thinking things like "Stop" or "Go away!" or "Don't think". However this only makes things more difficult. That one thought becomes the only thought in my head. And it repeats itself on and on and on. Something like this: "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" X 100000000000000000 into infinity.
I think my sleeping problems come from my over-active brain. I'm always thinking or brooding or daydreaming or picturing. My brain is always busy. So I usually go to bed around 8 pm (yeah I know, early) to give my body the rest it needs, but I'll be staring at the ceiling for hours, fantasizing away until I finally fall asleep. Yet I'm never tired when I wake up. What's up with that?
Curse ya faulty brain! Kekeke, I'm just kidding. Even though my brain is always working and making me daydream, even when I'm watching tv or listen to music - which means I'm living my life zoned out completely ^0^ - I'm content. That's just the way I am and how I work.
Besides, my over-active brain has given me a lot of advantages too. It has given me my own imaginary realm of wonder from which I get inspiration for my novels and provides me with an escape from the real world when I need a break. My brain has given me the capacity and ability to be open to, love and understand cultures/languages other than mine and given me a special interest I will treasure for the rest of my life.
Maybe my brain is wired differently compared to others, but that doesn't make it any better or worse. Just different. Unique. And we should all treasure our uniqueness, right?
Uniqueness hwaiting!! Special interest gambare!! Repeated music in my head hwaiting!!
Sayonara mina!
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
2/10/10
Out of my mind
Annyeong everyone,
The strangest thing happened to me yesterday! The only reason I'm writing about this now, is because yesterday I had not the time nor the mindset to write about that strange and awful event.
I had a lecture about trends in the media which was going to take up 3 hours. Now there's nothing wrong with that except for the fact that the building we were in has no tables so you have to use your own lap as one, and that seriously comprimises your handwriting.
Well, my handwriting is horrible and unreadable to anyone but me anyways, so maybe I shouldn't complain. But that's beside the point.
I was sitting, all ready to learn and all that, when IT happened. I don't know what it was or how to call it. ( Sensory overload, instant brain malfunction??) It took me by surprise. Let me explain what happend: I was trying to concentrate on the teacher - which was already a hard job because she kept stopping in mid-sentence and starting over again - but for some reason I couldn't.
The people behind me were talking, the people next to me were talking, the people in front of me were talking; everyone everywhere was talking. A problem? Usually not, it's kinda normal.
Yesterday, however, I couldn't filter the sounds. Trying to focus only on what the teacher was saying became impossible. Thinking became impossible. Suddenly I couldn't filter out ANY sound. And then, in a last desperate attempt to avoid me going mental, my brain just shut down. Leaving me in a state of sheer confusion.
I left the lecture early and just concentrated on my music and nothing else while going home. When I came home, my mom was playing music and to my ears it sounded terrible loud. She then started talking to me and I realized I wasn't able to filter out the music while she talked. I almost slipped back into a shutdown. I begged my mom to turn off the music.
Weird aye? A little creepy too.
I've always had problems with sound. My little sister and my mom tend to turn on sound (TV, radio etc) very loud. At least to me. I'm always asking them to turn the noise down. That's one of the reasons I don't like going out. There are too many (loud) sounds: the music, the people talking to each other, people talking to me, people who sing along with the music. It's hell.
That and the flickering lights. Concerts are easier - not that I go to concerts frequently - because I only have to concentrate on the music. When I focus on one thing only, everything else disappears. But it's not like I can't multitask. Heavens no! I'm a champion at multitasking if I may say so myself.
I'm afraid of thunder and lightening, but it's the thunder that has the scariest impact on me, while I know that thunder is harmless and lightening could actually kill you. I just have issues with sounds. Especially when they're loud.
Well, let's just hope something like this never happens to me again,
Sayonara, mina
The strangest thing happened to me yesterday! The only reason I'm writing about this now, is because yesterday I had not the time nor the mindset to write about that strange and awful event.
I had a lecture about trends in the media which was going to take up 3 hours. Now there's nothing wrong with that except for the fact that the building we were in has no tables so you have to use your own lap as one, and that seriously comprimises your handwriting.
Well, my handwriting is horrible and unreadable to anyone but me anyways, so maybe I shouldn't complain. But that's beside the point.
I was sitting, all ready to learn and all that, when IT happened. I don't know what it was or how to call it. ( Sensory overload, instant brain malfunction??) It took me by surprise. Let me explain what happend: I was trying to concentrate on the teacher - which was already a hard job because she kept stopping in mid-sentence and starting over again - but for some reason I couldn't.
The people behind me were talking, the people next to me were talking, the people in front of me were talking; everyone everywhere was talking. A problem? Usually not, it's kinda normal.
Yesterday, however, I couldn't filter the sounds. Trying to focus only on what the teacher was saying became impossible. Thinking became impossible. Suddenly I couldn't filter out ANY sound. And then, in a last desperate attempt to avoid me going mental, my brain just shut down. Leaving me in a state of sheer confusion.
I left the lecture early and just concentrated on my music and nothing else while going home. When I came home, my mom was playing music and to my ears it sounded terrible loud. She then started talking to me and I realized I wasn't able to filter out the music while she talked. I almost slipped back into a shutdown. I begged my mom to turn off the music.
Weird aye? A little creepy too.
I've always had problems with sound. My little sister and my mom tend to turn on sound (TV, radio etc) very loud. At least to me. I'm always asking them to turn the noise down. That's one of the reasons I don't like going out. There are too many (loud) sounds: the music, the people talking to each other, people talking to me, people who sing along with the music. It's hell.
That and the flickering lights. Concerts are easier - not that I go to concerts frequently - because I only have to concentrate on the music. When I focus on one thing only, everything else disappears. But it's not like I can't multitask. Heavens no! I'm a champion at multitasking if I may say so myself.
I'm afraid of thunder and lightening, but it's the thunder that has the scariest impact on me, while I know that thunder is harmless and lightening could actually kill you. I just have issues with sounds. Especially when they're loud.
Well, let's just hope something like this never happens to me again,
Sayonara, mina
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