You have to know the past to understand the present

Annyeong everyone,

So remember my last post about my goals for the future? Well, here a little something I found while digging in my old writings. This is something I just wrote for myself when I was 16. Funny thing is not much has changed. Only the fact that I've decided Japan is my future home, I've given up on an acting career and am focusing on one in writing and that I have no choice but to marry, if I want to adopt from Asia. 

Without much further ado, here's 'How I Picture My Future Life To Be' by M.D. Tjong Ayong:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been dreaming about my perfect future. It was always crystal clear to me: I knew exactly how I wanted it. Of course, it was a little surreal, but you can’t stop a girl from dreaming. My dream future has not quite changed over the years; the important things are still the same.

Unlike most girls, I never dreamed of a great and fairytale-like wedding. I’ve always detested that subject. Every girl wanted a wedding, with a beautiful princess wedding dress; so it was only natural for me not to want it. I usually didn’t go with the flow. I always said to myself: ‘I don’t have to get married. What’s the use? It’s going to cost you a lot of money and you’ll be showing of this diamond ring, so what? It’s no guarantee that the relationship’s going to last! You could just as well move in together. It’s the same thing; the only thing that’s different is that you call the guy your boyfriend and not your husband!’

Even now I think that’s the absolute and only truth.

I also had a strong opinion about babies. I never wanted any. Not of my own flesh and blood, that is. I’ve always wanted to adopt, ever since I was old enough to fully understand what that meant. I wanted to adopt before Angelina Jolie adopted sweet, little Maddox, and before other actresses followed her example. I wanted it before it became a rage in Hollywood! And I always will, there’s no doubt about that.

But the most astounding dream I’ve always had, is being a single mom! I’ve always pictured myself as a single mom, I don’t know why. It’s probably because my own mother was one and I saw how strong she was. I wasn’t always certain about what was going to be my occupation, what was going to be my profession. I began with wanting to be a writer, and then I switched to actress, cartoonist, teacher and zoologist. Now I am back at wanting to be an actress and a writer.

But enough with the long introduction; let me tell you how I picture my future life to be. Because now, at the age of sixteen, I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I want in and from life. Now’s the time to explain:

From where I stand now in life, I know one thing for sure: I want a simple yet varied life. When I think about the future, I see myself making a living with what I love to do. Writing. Why writing? Because that’s a safer option than acting.

I want to be able to support myself without any help from others, whatsoever. If I’m a (preferably famous) writer, I can do everything in my own time. Of course; if acting is another possibility, I’d choose both. I could be the main character in a movie that’d be based on my own book!

Furthermore, I’d like to adopt two Asian children, maybe even three. I’d like to adopt from Japan, South Korea or China. But three certainly is the limit. I think that in the end, I will only adopt two kids, and maybe get one of my own. Yet that isn’t definite!

I never wanted kids of my own, but maybe I’ll want them later. You never know about these things.

I’m not quite sure if I want to be a single mom. It seems fun to me; raising my two (or three) children alone, with no one who tells me what to do. But I wouldn’t mind if I had a boyfriend. It could be fun too! And it would be easier sometimes, if for some reason I’d have a writer’s block and the children couldn’t be quiet. He could take them outside and play baseball with them or something. And about marriage? Well, it still isn’t a must. At least not to me. If my boyfriend really wanted to get married, I’d probably go along with it. I don’t really care about that, but if he would be happier because of it, why not? Though, what I’m looking for is the homely-type, the one who could run the household, because I’m not that skilled when it comes to cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry.

I always pictured my house to be grand, huge, and mansion-like. A big white house, with a great Japanese garden. The interior would be Asian too; the colours would’ve to be light. Like yellows and whites. And I’d probably dedicate two rooms to my favourite movie and anime: Lord of the Rings and One Piece. I can already see the action figures and posters… I absolutely don’t want to live in Holland. Japan or South Korea could be a great option. Oh and I want a dog or three! Wolf dogs. Male ones, of course.

And don’t forget my friends! I’d like to stay as close as we are now, or better yet: closer. I can always count on them and I’d like to be there for them as well. I mean: they’d be a really good influence on my children and my life. And I’d like to be an example for their children. It would be great if our children would play together, grow up together and grow old together like we used to do.

                                                                                                               © M. D Tjong Ayong  

 Ja mata ne mina!