Goodbyes are not forever

Annyeong everyone,

I've decided to try out Wordpress, to see which blogging platform I like the most...so I won't be active here for a while. I won't be gone forever...and even if I'm gonna be, you'll be the first to know.

Here's my wordpress blog: http://lonewolfwhistlinginthedark.wordpress.com/

Hope to see you guys there

Ja mata ne mina!


You have to know the past to understand the present

Annyeong everyone,

So remember my last post about my goals for the future? Well, here a little something I found while digging in my old writings. This is something I just wrote for myself when I was 16. Funny thing is not much has changed. Only the fact that I've decided Japan is my future home, I've given up on an acting career and am focusing on one in writing and that I have no choice but to marry, if I want to adopt from Asia. 

Without much further ado, here's 'How I Picture My Future Life To Be' by M.D. Tjong Ayong:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been dreaming about my perfect future. It was always crystal clear to me: I knew exactly how I wanted it. Of course, it was a little surreal, but you can’t stop a girl from dreaming. My dream future has not quite changed over the years; the important things are still the same.

Unlike most girls, I never dreamed of a great and fairytale-like wedding. I’ve always detested that subject. Every girl wanted a wedding, with a beautiful princess wedding dress; so it was only natural for me not to want it. I usually didn’t go with the flow. I always said to myself: ‘I don’t have to get married. What’s the use? It’s going to cost you a lot of money and you’ll be showing of this diamond ring, so what? It’s no guarantee that the relationship’s going to last! You could just as well move in together. It’s the same thing; the only thing that’s different is that you call the guy your boyfriend and not your husband!’
Even now I think that’s the absolute and only truth.

I also had a strong opinion about babies. I never wanted any. Not of my own flesh and blood, that is. I’ve always wanted to adopt, ever since I was old enough to fully understand what that meant. I wanted to adopt before Angelina Jolie adopted sweet, little Maddox, and before other actresses followed her example. I wanted it before it became a rage in Hollywood! And I always will, there’s no doubt about that.

But the most astounding dream I’ve always had, is being a single mom! I’ve always pictured myself as a single mom, I don’t know why. It’s probably because my own mother was one and I saw how strong she was. I wasn’t always certain about what was going to be my occupation, what was going to be my profession. I began with wanting to be a writer, and then I switched to actress, cartoonist, teacher and zoologist. Now I am back at wanting to be an actress and a writer.

But enough with the long introduction; let me tell you how I picture my future life to be. Because now, at the age of sixteen, I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I want in and from life. Now’s the time to explain:

From where I stand now in life, I know one thing for sure: I want a simple yet varied life. When I think about the future, I see myself making a living with what I love to do. Writing. Why writing? Because that’s a safer option than acting.
I want to be able to support myself without any help from others, whatsoever. If I’m a (preferably famous) writer, I can do everything in my own time. Of course; if acting is another possibility, I’d choose both. I could be the main character in a movie that’d be based on my own book!

Furthermore, I’d like to adopt two Asian children, maybe even three. I’d like to adopt from Japan, South Korea or China. But three certainly is the limit. I think that in the end, I will only adopt two kids, and maybe get one of my own. Yet that isn’t definite!
I never wanted kids of my own, but maybe I’ll want them later. You never know about these things.

I’m not quite sure if I want to be a single mom. It seems fun to me; raising my two (or three) children alone, with no one who tells me what to do. But I wouldn’t mind if I had a boyfriend. It could be fun too! And it would be easier sometimes, if for some reason I’d have a writer’s block and the children couldn’t be quiet. He could take them outside and play baseball with them or something. And about marriage? Well, it still isn’t a must. At least not to me. If my boyfriend really wanted to get married, I’d probably go along with it. I don’t really care about that, but if he would be happier because of it, why not? Though, what I’m looking for is the homely-type, the one who could run the household, because I’m not that skilled when it comes to cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry.

I always pictured my house to be grand, huge, and mansion-like. A big white house, with a great Japanese garden. The interior would be Asian too; the colours would’ve to be light. Like yellows and whites. And I’d probably dedicate two rooms to my favourite movie and anime: Lord of the Rings and One Piece. I can already see the action figures and posters… I absolutely don’t want to live in Holland. Japan or South Korea could be a great option. Oh and I want a dog or three! Wolf dogs. Male ones, of course.

And don’t forget my friends! I’d like to stay as close as we are now, or better yet: closer. I can always count on them and I’d like to be there for them as well. I mean: they’d be a really good influence on my children and my life. And I’d like to be an example for their children. It would be great if our children would play together, grow up together and grow old together like we used to do.
                                                                                                               © M. D Tjong Ayong  

 Ja mata ne mina!


A goal without a plan is just a wish

Annyeong everyone,

I've decided to really start looking inside myself and figure out which of my dreams/wishes I shall pursue and how. Because you won't be able to reach all your goals in life...even if you could, you shouldn't. Because if you reach all your goals and have all you dreams come true...then what? There should always be a few dream or wishes that never came to pass - just make sure it's those little dreams and wishes you hope for, not the bigger ones.

When I'm old and grey, I don't want to look back at a life wasted or have regrets about dreams I didn't pursue. So I'm going to jot down all the things I want to accomplish in this life - no matter if they're big or small. Then I'm going to figure out how to accomplish those things, what I need to do to make my dreams and wishes come true. Because wishing on a star isn't going to help me much.

I have a big task ahead me: I need to start looking at my goals realistically and that's not something I'm very good at. So yeah, it's going to be difficult, but I'm sure it'll be worth my while. I'll let you guys know what I've decided.

Ja mata ne mina!


Sungkyunkwan Scandal

Annyeong everyone,

So. Sungkyunkwan Scandal. It was one of the many Kdrama's I would get to someday. Main reason to watch: Yoochun. Naturally. I'm the kind of person who hates ongoing dramas, because you have to wait an entire week to watch the newest episode. I hated it with Sunao ni narenakute ( JaeJoong's drama) which I still watched. I hate it with One Piece...which I still watch. And so I hate it with Yoochun drama....and I still watch it. I know...I'm weak.

But there was a big surprise for me with Sungkyunkwan Scandal. I actually liked more actors than just Yoochun. With Sunao ni, all I cared about was JaeJoong's character. But there are several actors who stole my heart in Yoochun's drama. This is gonna be one hellavu nice drama! I'm hooked

Ja mata ne mina!


When all else fails, blame an evil wizard

Annyeong everyone,

Long time no talkies! Well, let's start this post, shall we. When all else fails, blame an evil wizard...or in any other case ME. You see, I just love how I'm always blamed for everything. And not just by people who know me, but strangers do it to me too! Somehow I'm the reason wars were fought, the word buttwipe exists and why people are late.

Yup, it's all me. I'm a baby-eating-puppy-kicking-evil-villainous-time-warping-burning-the-world-just-for-the-fun-of-it wizard. *Insert evil laugh here* My eyes shoot lightening and when I burp it thunders in Bookbookiestan. When I'm angry 883025 people end up dying horribly in their comfy chairs. It's all me. Me, me, me. I'm the reason society goes down the drain.

And people wonder why I'm so sarcastic...bordering on the edge of cynical. All this and more is thrust upon me....while other have greatness thrust upon them. Seriously people, give it a rest. I'm probably the most polite, nice and goody goody two shoes kind of gal, you're ever gonna meet. And I say this without shame.

So when things go utterly wrong and all else fails, don't blame me. Just blame the evil wizard. He won't care, that's what he's for.

Mata ne mina!


Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school

Annyeong everyone,

So, I haven't blogged in quite a while really, sorry 'bout that. I've been really busy with work and my birthday and all that. And today was my first day back at 'school'...well, I guess when you compare it to the American or Japanese educational system, it's university. Practical university or whatever. No matter, I just call it school. 

I promise to try and blog a bit more, but I don't know if it's possible. School's gonna take up a lot of my time. But look forward to more posts and embrace the randomness that is me.

Ja mata ne mina! 


Nice as pie

Annyeong everyone,

Today I went to pick up a ring I'd ordered made especially for me. I was inspired by this pciture: 

However I requested it to be made of only two rings and of gold, because three rings was way over my budget and I don't wear silver. I also had it engraved: A.K.T.F. All you DBSK fans out there know what this means right: Always Keep The Faith.

They had first made it out of silver - to practise - and the jeweller kept that one for herself. One of the rings wasn't just polished, it was treated with sand as to make it look like it was made of diamond. I expressed interest and she said it would only cost me ten bucks and would take half an hour. My mom would pay for it when we came back.

My mom, my little sister and I came back exactly an half hour later (we has some other things also taken care of) and suddenly the jeweller told us it was for free. Because my birthday was coming up. Isn't that sweet?  I'm so happy with my new ring, it's never coming off.

Ja mata ne, mina!


No one is able to enjoy such feast than the one who throws a party in his own mind

Annyeong everyone, 

This quote about writing from Selma Lagerlöf, illustrates how I experience writing. I've just started to write again - after a long time of getting distracted by Bones, Dollhouse, Gokusen and a new dorama I discovered yesterday: Bloody Monday  - and it feels good. I can finally let my imagination flow again, and even though the same flow won't always apply when jotting down the words, I realize I've missed it. 

I've missed sitting at the table, typing or writing with my earphones in, ignoring reality. Well, not ignoring, just...substituting my own. And I love it. I love writing so much that when I'm not writing, I have the need to fill the empty space with something else. In this case doramas. I've always watched series/anime online, but not as much as I did a couple of days ago. So I decided I needed to write again.

My mind is overflowing and characters are springing up from nowhere. Imagination, inspiration and (ahem) genius are coming together. I'm itching to write and to draw, which I haven't done for more than 3 months by the way. And maybe I'll pick up my drawing again, to draw my characters, or attempt to at least. But right now I want to concentrate on my writing again.

Because writing - or throwing a party in your own mind - is a beautiful and amazing thing. I wouldn't want to give that up EVER. I'll continue to throwing parties and feasts and all such things in my mind and maybe one day I will finally be able to invite other people. Maybe someday I will get published. 

Kore wa watashi no yume dakara.

Ja mata ne, mina!!!   


Game plan

Annyeong everyone,

So today, I decided to spend some time thinking - seriously thinking - about my future. And no, I don't mean daydreaming about my life in Japan, working as an editor and being a famous novelist, with my adopted children and my two dogs. Though that is my favourite pastime K K K. 

No, I was thinking about what to do after I get my bachelor. Granted, I have two full years left, but what then? Find a job? It's my dream to move to Japan to start a new life there, finding a job there at 20 won't be that easy. Especially since my self-taught Japanese is still in it's baby stage. And I'm a foreigner. I'm not saying the Japanese are racists, I don't know all Japanese people and I do think they are smart enough to make their own judgement based on my personality and not my coloured skin. A Japanese friend of mine however, told me the Japanese just don't have that many opportunities to  meet foreigners. 

Anywaysss, I have been thinking of studying Japanese or Korean. And I've actually found an university where they offer both! It's in Leiden and not that far from my home town. A mere 42 minutes away to be exact. So if I would go to study Japanese ( it's actually called 'Languages and cultures of Japan') it would take three years. I'd be 23 when I was done. But then there is Korean ( 'Languages and cultures of Korea') as well. I don't want to give up on that, so I'd study at the university for another 3 years. I'd be 26 when I'd be done. 

I could, of course, decide to get a Master for both studies...that would probably take ehm...2 years, I suppose. I'd be 28. I don't know if I will try to get a Master for both, so let's scratch that for now. I will have three Bachelors (hopeful thinking) and a Master - in English. That could get me far when I'd look for a job in Japan right? I'd like to think so. And all the while I'll be working at the Hema and saving for the big move. Sound like a plan right? A killer plan! A game plan. 



Annyeong everyone,

So I've talked about me possibly having NLD - non-verbal learning disorder - but I couldn't provide you guys with a lot of info. Now I've found some, so I decided to show you:

NLD is a neurological disorder which originates in the right hemisphere of the brain. Reception of nonverbal or performance-based information governed by this hemisphere is impaired in varying degrees, causing problems with visual-spatial, intuitive, organizational, evaluative, and holistic processing functions.
The syndrome of Nonverbal Learning Disorders (NLD) consists of specific assets and deficits.
The assets include:
  • Early speech and vocabulary development
  • Remarkable rote memory skills
  • Attention to detail
  • Early development of reading skills and excellent spelling skills
  • Eloquent verbal ability
  • Strong auditory retention
The three categories of deficits are:
  • Motoric: lack of coordination, problems with balance and graphomotor skills
  • Visual-spatial-organizational: lack of image, poor visual recall, faulty spatial perception, and difficulty with spatial relations
  • Social: inability to comprehend nonverbal communication, difficulty adjusting to transitions and novel situations, and deficits in social judgment
People with NLD can be affected in varied levels of severity in each of the categories, so that each person with NLD presents a unique clinical, behavioral, and educational picture. People with NLD can be helped by many forms of therapy, but their world is filled with confusing sensory stimuli. For some, their physical endurance is challenged by generally low muscle tone. Some need support throughout life with cognitive and organizational skills, motor skill development, pragmatics and social skills.

Children with NLD have advanced verbal and auditory memory. Some are precocious readers with advanced vocabularies. Nevertheless, NLD is a problem of language. People with NLD have rote language skills but when it comes to functional daily use of language, they have difficulties with tone of voice, inference, written expression, facial expression, gestures, and other areas of pragmatic speech.

People with NLD have difficulty understanding patterns and lining up columns of numbers. Spoken instructions can be troublesome due to difficulty picturing consecutive directions and poor visual memory. NLD can also affect coordination, causing clumsiness, poor balance and a tendency to fall. Many people with NLD have poor safety judgment.
We are not sure what causes NLD, but we know that the earlier the intervention, the better the prognosis.

There...did you understand any of it? I did...a little bit anyways. Well, that's all for now. 

Ja mata ne mina!


New lease of life

Annyeong everyone,

How are you guys? I haven't been blogging in a long time - mainly because of my horrible internship. The only positive things about that internship are the friends I've made and the fact that I got inspiration to write about it. I'm gonna write a novel about my internship in hell. 

Are you interested? I'm gonna write in first person, and I don't really use that perpective a lot, so it's gonna be different. It has me as the MC. K K K.

I've decided to use Dutch idioms as chapter titles and my novel title is an idiom too. I love idioms for some reason *^^* I'll let you guys know when I've got more.

Ja mata ne mina! 


Speak softly and carry a big stick

Annyeong everyone,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Missed me? Kekeke, I guess not. Some of you probably will have noticed that I usually use English idioms as titles - the only exeptions are the QuickE's, discoveries I've made and the happy birthday wishes for the members of DBSK. Which reminds me: I've been too busy to blog about YooChun's birthday! Oh well...I decided I won't do that any more anyways...it's not like they actually read my blog.

Anyways...let's carry on. Um...the idiom 'Speak softly and carry a big stick' is very fitting for a situation I landed in during my internship (I still have two weeks to go). There are 3 other interns and our "boss"  - and I use this term lightly - has taken advantage of us. There are a lot of problems with this guys, but the worst thing was the fact that we didn't get our pay of April and May...until the beginning of June.
And we only got that because I had asked him about it for like a gazillion times! Do you know how horrible it is to beg for your own money? It made me feel like a gold digger or something.

So I went to talk to him about a lot of problems he should fix. This is where the idiom comes in, because I was ready to break his neck. I was that pissed. I'm never pissed. I just shrug things off. But that dude is really something. Everything I said to him, he twisted....so it would make me feel guilty. Lucky for me...I don't feel guilty about things I haven't done. Now he takes every chance he's got to admonish me for stuff.

Yesterday was another example of this. We only have to come to the office at Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The rest of the time we work home. Suddenly he decides he wanted us to come to the office today (because he 'quit' his freelance job...yeah right). I couldn't go because I had some other stuff to do. He totally went into a frenzy. Like I should be ashamed I had other appointments without telling him. He tried to use my argument (if he'd be late or have a meeting, he should at least give us a call) against me. The only problem was that I was talking about the days when we were actually supposed to be here.
That miserable excuse of a human had told us - at the beginning of the internship - that we would only have to come to the office on those three days. Then we could work at home the rest of the time, and have time for work or school or sports or whatever. His words...not mine.

Can you believe that man?! He's is so getting on my nerves! I'm not an agressive person, but I'm constantly thinking of ways to kill him. And I wonder how everything's gonna work out with the money we made in June. Oh well, only two weeks left...I'll keep my murderous plans to myself for now. But boy, I will be so happy when this internship is over.

Ja mata ne mina!


This is Sparta!

Annyeong everyone,

Saturday my mom, my sister and I went to Amsterdam to shop and visit my grandmom who just came back from Suriname. My mom was in a good mood and bought me an encyclopedia about the world's mythologies and the movie 300.

I loved that movie^^ Who doesn't like hack-and-slash movies? When we came home I tried convincing my little sister to watch it with me, but she wasn't in to it. And in the end I was glad she didn't watch it with me. The label said 16 ...but I hadn't considered it dangerous because we watched LotR extended edition and that was labeled 16 too. BUT...and this is a very big BUT...LotR had no sexscenes.

I had totally forgotten about the sexscene in 300, it's been a couple of months, you know? So I was glad she didn't stay and watch, cuz it was shocking! I was staring at the screen like 0.0 and I'm 18!

I will be frank and say that the sexscene should have been cut. Why? Here's why:

1) It was too explicit! I don't want to see everything, just a hint or the suggestion of what's going to happen is fine. If you have to show the deed, at least cover them with a blanket.

2) It was unneccesary. Seriously; it didn't add anything to the movie. 300 is about threehundred dudes facing a massive army of millions. Not about the king and his wife. So if I had been the director, I wouldn't even have put it in the movie at all. What happens in the bedroom doesn't matter. What happens on the battlefield does.

Anyways, gotta get back to work....the boss still isn't here though. It's pissing me off!

Ja mata ne mina!


The fantasy writer's essentials

Annyeong everyone,

So what is it a fantasy writer needs? Here's a short list I made:

  • Paper
  • Pens/pencils
  • A laptop or computer
  • A notebook you carry with you everywhere
  • Inspiration
  • Skill
  • The Ultimate Visual Dictionary
  • The Complete Guide to writing fantasy volume 1 and 2
  • The power to cut away unnessecary parts in your novel, no matter how it hurts
  • People who stand by you and aren't afraid to criticise when they need to
  • Knowledge of the subject you're writing about
And for those who wonder if they have it in them to become a successfull writer:

This is a quiz made by fantasy writer Holly Lisle. Try it out, I know I did and I liked my results.

I just wanted to share this with you guys,

Ja mata ne mina!


Lord, love a duck!

Annyeong everyone,

Lord, love a duck! Yeah...I know you're probably looking like this right now: o.0

I was like that too when I first read this idiom, but I like it. Lord, love a duck: An exclamation used when nothing else will fit. Often fitting when one is stunned or dismayed. I am both stunned and dismayed. Why? Because of romance!

The love I'm talking about has nothing to do with me, make no mistake! I have a non-existing lovelife. But it's about my aversion towards romance. I hate romantic movies/books/songs. I value passion more than romance anyways. Romance makes me want to puke, it's all so standard and unoriginal. Seriously. It's all been done before. When I see a romantic comedy, I will already know how it ends after watching for 5 minutes. It's all the same.

And yet! Most of the dramas/doramas I've seen revolved around love and romance. Hana yori dango, You are beautiful, Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge, Full House, Let's go to school, Sang Doo!, Sappuri, Sunao ni Narenakute, 1 Pound no Fukuin even IRIS! I shocked me when I realized this. But most of the time I watched those doramas/dramas for a particular reason: the humor. Or the actor (Kame, T.O.P, Rain, Jang Geun Suk, JaeJoong) Not so much the romance....I skipped it whenever I had the chance.

But what I can't possibly deny is the fact that my favourite songs are all lovesongs! Flower Lady, Love in the Ice, Why did I fall in love with you, Mirotic....they are all lovesongs! But do I really listen to them because they're lovesongs? Nope. I can't understand Japanese/Korean that well. I listen to them because I like the voices of my favourite 5 boys. Kizuna by Kame feels like a lovesong, but is about friendship. So I guess I'm saved.

For a few moments I thought I was turning into an entirely different person! But I'm still the same old me. Watashi wa daijoubu desu. Kekekeke

Ja mata ne mina!


Oguri Shun

Annyeong everyone,

I've made another grand discovery. Well, actually I kinda made it a long time ago. It's Oguri Shun (Tokyo Dogs, Gokusen I, Hana Yori Dango) Check him out:

He's quite the actor! I really like how he can go from delinquent to flower boy to cop. He knows how to do drama, comedy and even....awkward. Kekeke. Can't say I love him as much as Kame, though I think he's a lot better than Kame...sometimes. And while Kame is still boyish (me likey), Shun has proven in Tokyo Dogs he can play a man - well, he IS a man. Anyways, he pulled if off a lot better than Kame in Kami no Shizuku.

He's certainly a favourite of mine. And this is the only Asian dude so far (besides JaeJoong of course) who can pull off the blonde look. Seriously. But darker colours fit him best, since it's more natural. Same goes for JaeJoongie. Somehow JaeJoong got thrown into an Oguri Shun post...oh well.

Ja mata ne mina!


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

Today I finished watching Gokusen I, the prequel of Gokuen II which is one of my favourite doramas. I must say I still like II more than I, even though the storyline was pretty much the same and quite predictable - it was still a lot of fun to watch though^^.

I just have a habit of liking whatever part I see first more. For instance, I like LotR 2 more than the other two, because I saw it first. I like Xmen three more than the other two parts, because I saw it first. So I like Gokusen II because I saw it first. And because it had Kamenashi Kazuya in it, kekeke. But the characters from Gokusen I were likeable too. I liked Uchii more than Shin though.

I guess I should watch season 3 as well, since I already saw everything else - including Gokusen the Movie with (can you guess????) Kame!

Ja mata ne mina!


Time flies

Annyeong everyone,

Time flies when you're an intern. Seriousy, I haven't had time to write anything of my own. My future books are already gathering dust. I'm going crazy! It's really fun, you know, being an intern. But it's soooo tiring and demanding at the same time. Is this how it's gonna be when I'm a media professional and actually working?
Phew, I hope not.

But I'm aching to get started on my stories again. It's been too long. My hands are itching to get hold of a pen and write something magical or pseudo-medieval. I guess that when I do get back to writing again, I'll be singing along with and dancing to 2NE1/DBSK/BigBang songs with all my heart.

Look forward to it! You'll be hearing it wherever you are!

Ja mata ne? 


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

I just finished watching the Japanese dorama Tokyo Dogs. It's about two cops - Maruo and Sou who are after a drugbaron named Jinno. Sou and Maruo can't get along at all. The misunderstandings and quarrels between them are hilarious! The dorama is fastpaced and funny. You should all watch it sometime^^

Ja mata ne? 


I'm an intern now *^^*

Annyeong everyone,

I dunno if I've told you guys, but for school I had to search for an internship for 10 weeks. Well, I got one. I am going to work for a website for students; writing articles and keeping the database updated. Honto ni muzukashii demo honto ni tanoshi desu. Watashi gambareso!!! ^^

Yesterday was my first day. I only have to go to the office twice a week, the rest of the work I do at home. After a few weeks we (my fellow interns and me) are going to go into the country and visit different schools. Tomorrow I'm going back to the office, right now I'm working on the database.

Anyways, gotta be going. Me hwaiting! Me fight-oh!

Ja mata ne?

P.S. I just watched the new dorama Sunao ni Narenakute, with JaeJoongie! He's getting better at acting. I'm interested in his relationship with his dorama sister. It was quite funny how he had a bit of an outburst in Korean. I was like....o.0 Wait, was that just...Korean? Kekeke, Sunao ni Narenakute wa honto ni omoshiroi desu!


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

I finished the Japanese dorama 'Kami no Shizuku' with Kamenashi Kazuya. If Gokusen II is a 9.5, Kami no Shizuku is a....6. The story was quite boring, only Kame made me stick around for this one. It wasn't a great dorama, it wasn't bad either but more...maa maa.

I also watched the movie NINJA ASSASSIN with Rain. I wasn't expecting a good storyline or anything, I figured it was gonna be a hack-and-slash movie like 300. (which I really enjoyed.) I wasn't disappointed. The story was mediocre, but it wasn't full of cliches as I'd expected. Rain had almost to no dialogue and when he did speak, I had a hard time understanding anything he said. Other than that, it was a great movie.

Ja mata ne?


An agnostic is one who confidently affirms, “I don’t know.”

Annyeong everyone,

Today I want to rant about why I chose to become an agnostic at the age of fourteen, while I was raised a Catholic. Now please do realize that these are MY views and MY opinion and that I'm not trying to insult anyone. If you think you might be offended by this post, I urge you not to read this.

First of all, you have certain kinds of agnostics (or so Wikipedia claims) but I'll just describe two;
1. The STRONG agnostic, who will probably say something like: "I cannot know whether a deity exists or not, and neither can you."
2. The WEAK agnostic, who will probably say something like: "I don't know whether any deities exist or not, but maybe one day when there is evidence we can find something out."

I am a weak agnostic. But I would probably say something like: "I don't know if God or Allah or any supreme being exists, but it doesn't matter to me." Because it doesn't, at least not to me. I don't think religious people are stupid or anything. I think religion is a wonderful thing. It brings strangers together. It is something you can share with others. I wish I could believe in a higher power that watches out for his or her people. But I can't.
I never felt a connection with God or Jesus or any other deity. I've heard people say they have been touched by God or that they speak to him. I have never been able to and I probably never will. I used to pray before eating or going to bed, but it was more of a habit. I did it, because my mom did it, because I've always done it. I really didn't believe I was talking to Him or Her. So when I started to think about all of this, I realized that I didn't know if there was a God or not. And to be honest: I didn't care.
So I decided to drop the "act" if you will, and stopped calling myself a Catholic. I wasn't one so I shouldn't be calling myself one. But I don't look down on religious people, in fact I think they have something beautiful I haven't, yet it's fine with me.

"I don't know if God or Allah or any supreme being exists, but it doesn't matter to me." I wrote this, thinking it wouldn't need an explanation, but I realized people can take this the wrong way.
I say it doesn't matter to me, because I live a pretty decent life. The only deadly sin I exercise so to speak, is sloth. I'm lazy as hell and sometimes indifferent^^ We all have our faults. Yet I guess I should explain this with an example:

So, let's say I was walking down the street, the sun was brightly shining, just doing my thing. But suddenly, it seems the whole world slows down and the sky opens. A figure (male, female,hemaphrodyte?) is revealed to everyone at the same time. So my penpal in Korea is looking at the same figure right now. It raises its hand and ZAP - no more hunger in the world. ZAP - no more war. ZAP - no more rasicm. ZAP - no more unnecesarry violence. All this, with just the raising of a hand.

I think it's pretty obvious I would be like: "WOW, there is a Supreme Being! 0.0"
Anyone would be like that.
But after that I would be like: "Oh well, now that's settled then," and happily go on with my life.

I wouldn't change the way I live, even though the deity had appeared in front of my eyes. As I said before, I live a pretty decent life. Well, that's all for now. Again I remind you, these were MY views and MY opinion. I didn't set out to hurt anyone. If you feel hurt, please word your thoughts and pain delicately.

Ja mata, ne?


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

I finished the Japanese dorama Yukan Club. Although they constantly overacted and used annoying sound effects, it was a decent dorama.

Ja mata ne, anata-tachi!


Feeling blue

Annyeong everyone,

Let's start off with the good and happy update/news, shall we? Yesterday, my little sister turned 14! We surprised her with a few great presents - but the best present of all was a big 3D Michael Jackson poster. She's a big fan of Michael Jackson and she wanted it for a long time, but the store moved somewhere else and she thought she'd never be able to buy it for herself.
So this was a real surprise ^^ We also went to a hiphop show called BLAZE. It was amazing and I don't think she'll forget this birthday for a long time. The dancers came from all over the world. My favourite girl came from Vietnam; whenever she was on stage, she stole the show!

Now let's move on to the "somewhat good but also somewhat bad" news:

Remember how I told you guys I was being tested for Asperger syndrome? Well, I got the results back. First of all the result of the IQ test. Appearantly I made it very difficult for them and they had to use different references than usual. I didn't get most of the explaination, kekeke.
But they said I was gifted. So that was good, I guess. Well, after that it came to the diagnoses: Asperger or not? NOT.
I had certain traits that you'd find in people with Asperger, but not enough. However they now seem to think I have this learning disorder NLD. I still have to research all this, so I can't really tell you what this means. But some NLD traits (symptoms?) are akin to some Asperger traits, it seems. It can't be cured (duh, it's not an illness)

Now the bad news:

Good evening, this is the Bigeast Office.

Today, the following press release was announced. We would inform you as follows.

Regarding "Tohoshinki"
We have an announcement regarding the artist "Tohoshinki" who belongs to our company. We would make the following notice.

The activities of "Tohoshinki" will be suspended, but our company will make our best efforts in order to support the activities of the 5 members, who possess outstanding talents and are promised with a great future, at full strength.

Please warmly watch over "Junsu", "Yoochun", "Jaejoong", "Changmin", and "Yunho".

We appreciate your kind understanding.

avex management
Tohoshinki's activities will be suspended, but the Bigeast is a place where everyone treasures the bond between the 5 members and everyone.

The continuation of Bigeast is also under discussion of the Bigeast Office.
We are sorry for making a nuisance to all the Bigeasts, but we will inform you [about the future of Bigeast] by the end of April, so please wait for awhile.

2010/4/3 Sent at 18:00
Bigeast Office
Source: Bigeast Fan Mail + Tohoshinki's Official Website + avex group's Official Website
Translation: smiley @ OneTVXQ.com
Special thanks: linhkawaii @ OneTVXQ.com
Credits: OneTVXQ.com { One World. One Red Ocean. One TVXQ! }


Yeah, this gave me quite the shock when I read it. Is it just a break? Or is the group going to break up? I want to stay positive, because the word "disband" isn't in here. But that's no guarantee...
I really only wish for those boys to get all they deserve: happiness, praise, recognisition and mature fans who grow as THSK grows. If they decide to disband, it's their choice and I will continue to support them seperately.

Although I'm a 'recent' fan, I feel really connected to these guys. I have never actually been a fan of an artist, only of songs. But that all changed when I heard Love in the Ice. These guys have struggled to get to the top and have become the stars of Asia. They are kind, generous and 4D - and unfortunately underrated. People who say they can't sing, have never heard Love in the Ice, Flowerlady or Bolero before.
They have inspired me to work hard and become the person I want to be. My own hero.

Anyways, since I heard this news, I've been listening to this (which is actually stupid, since it makes me even more blue):

However it somehow reminds me of the impact THSK/DBSK/TVXQ has had on me. I will stay positive and KEEP THE FAITH!

Mata ne, anata-tachi!


Nobuta wo Produce

Annyeong everyone,

I must say once again: Kamenashi Kazuya is a good actor (not yet great, but he'll get there) I loved his character in Nobuta wo Produce. The story of the dorama is very touching and funny at the same time. I'm not going to SPOIL it for you guys, so watch it yourselves. ^^

Ja, anata-tachi mate ne?


Writing cannot express all words, words cannot encompass all ideas.

Annyeong everyone,

Ah...Confucious, my man. Seriously, this dude had a way with words. I agree with this saying about language and writing. When I have an idea, it all makes sense and fits somehow, but when I try to write it down...the words never get out the way I had intended.
It was quite frustrating at first, but in the end I got used to it. My thoughts will never be turned into a perfect sentence on paper, but at least they will be acceptable if not good.
I don't really have anything else to say for now; my mind isn't on blogging right now OTL

Ja, anata-tachi mata ne?

(Yeah, I've stopped with the sayonara....it's a bit formal *^^*)

Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

I finished watching the dorama Sapuri today (and yes, with Kame...I'm addicted) I'm not currently watching Nobuta wo produce (yes again, with Kame) and Yukan Club (with Akanishi Jin).
You must think I have nothing to do kekekke.
I've also gone back to reading Kenshin again...I stopped a couple of months ago for reasons I can't remember, but I'm back on track.

Sayonara mina!


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

I've just finished the dorama Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge and I loved it. Kame really acted superb in this dorama. Though the prank thing went a little too far.^^

Sayonara, mina!


Writing is my time machine, it takes me to the precise time and place I belong

Annyeong everyone,

I love to write. Whether it's a blogpost, an essay for school, a story of my own or just scraps of ideas I jot down in my notebook. Writing is like breathing to me; I can't imagine me not writing. You know how they say there's a double of all of us somewhere? Though I'm not so sure I believe that, I just know that if there is another me out there, she (or he...I don't know if they'd be the same gender as the 'original') will love to write. It has to be. Writing is such an essential part of my life, even if there'd be an alternative universe where everyone excists as well, my alternative version would be writing.
No doubt about it.

The gears in my head are always working: always producing new ideas and providing me with delicious inspiration. Yet I can't seem to finish the 19475475923 stories I've created. Sometimes I stop just after creating the characters, sometimes after a few chapters. After that....I'm empty. My inspiration is gone. I guess that's what you call writer's block, eh?
I think I get stuck because I don't have any proof readers; people who read my chapters and give me feedback. Because when I get feedback, I start thinking about the story I want to write, not the story I've written. So I need to find myself some proof readers. I had a friend who read my stories for me, but she got frustrated with me because I had one written 3 chapters and then hopped on to another story.
She's really scary when she's scolding me and I had to stop sending unfinished stuff. T0T

So if any of you want to proof read, send me a message and we'll talk it over!

Sayonara mina!


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

Well, I finished 1 Pound no Fukuin and watched Gokusen the movie (both with Kame in it)
Liked it, loved it, desired it. Seriously want to buy these two products!!!
And yes: I'm now officially a fan of Kame's acting ^^

Scene from Gokusen II: (Kame is the one with the yellow drink, Jin's the other)

I've been watching Cartoon KAT-TUN too and especially loving the episode where they have the "Dangerous present exchange" with Ne-Yo. Never really realized how kind a face Ne-Yo has. And it was so cool he actually wore the shoes Koki made for him!

This is it for now,

Sayonara mina!


Always keep the faith!

Annyeong everyone,

Always keep the faith. This is a really beautiful motto, not just for the religious people out there, but for us non-believers too. Always keep faith in yourself. No matter what people might say, no matter what they might think, you are somebody worthy. You are somebody.
And you should always keep faith in yourself and your abilities. No one is worthless. There is not one person out there, who can't do anything. There is always something. There is always a talent within people -it might be small or burried somewhere deep or it might be deemed insignificant. But talent is talent, no matter how trivial it might seem.

Even the smallest star shines in the dark. Of course there are always times when you are in selfdoubt or even selfpity, but don't let that get to you. The best way to live this relative short life on this planet, is to be happy with yourself and proud of everything you can and cannot do. Know thy self. Love thy self. This is what empowers you.

Now this is a helluva lot easier to say (or type) than to actually do it, I know. There are times when I feel pissed off because I'm unable to do even the simplest of house chores. Cooking is hell for me. And not being able to tell what time it is (within an hour), not being able to do subtract and all that math stuff...it's not been good for my selfesteem. Even seeing numbers still makes me feel uncomfortable. And I'm not really that positive a person...nor even really realisitc.
But I have a rule: Be Your Own Hero. That means trying hard at everything, trying to become (and I don't mean copy) the person you admire. Which also means to try and live your life in a way that you can be proud of yourself. And -if the person you admire would know you or see you - make them proud too.

I've only just begun thinking what I'm really good at. I'm always a pro at telling people my bad points: lazy, slob, passive...etc. But I need to stress my good point too. I need to be able to be proud of myself. I need to be my own Hero.
So here it goes....and yes: while I'm typing this my face is twitching *^^*

I'm good at English
I'm sarcastic (which means I don't take every little thing so serious and therefore I haven't as much problems as other people)
I'm a good fantasy writer (good, not yet great though)
I'm good at teaching myself things: I taught myself English before learning it at school.
I get along with most people (on a platonic level)
I'm always working hard for school
I'm not your typical rabid fangirl xD (Yeah, sorry, just had to make that one clear. I'm just a normal fan)
I'm relaxed, laid-back (on the edge of being a slacker)
I'm a tomboy (in other words: I get along well with guys and usually know how/what they think)
I'm not so quick to judge
I don't care (about your appearance, sexual preference, faith, lifestyle, what people think of me and whatever else there is)

I would like to say I'm good at languages, but in truth I couldn't survive a day in Paris even though I had high grades for French for 5 years. I'm only fluent in Dutch and English at the moment, though I'm busy trying to change that. Japanese and Korean are the first two languages on my to learn list.

Well, this was it for today. It was hard for me to do and most of you must think I have an ego the size of the Empire State Building.

Remember: Be your own Hero! And be happy!

Sayonara mina


Kamenashi Kazuya

Annyeong everyone,

I have made a new discovery! His name is Kamenashi Kazuya! He's a member of the popular Japanese group KAT-TUN and an amazing actor.

I first saw him in the ongoing (and therefore annoying, because I have to wait for the new episode to be aired and subbed) Japanese dorama Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. It's an adaption of the shoujo manga 'Wallflower'. I love his character in this dorama. Kyouhei is a guy I would want to date, although he has issues. Last night I watched episode 8...and I cried at the end. Poor Kyouhei was told by his mom -who was in a frenzy - that she regret having him. No parent should ever say that!

I've also been watching Gokusen Season II (haven't seen season 1 or three...not planning to) with starred Kazuya and his bandmate Akaniashi Jin. Japanese doramas are pretty short; 10-12 episodes max and especially with this one I didn't quite like it. It was such a good dorama and I really loved the characters, so I was sad to see it end. I'm gonna watch Gokusen the movie too, because Kazuya (a.k.a. Kame) is in it too.

The next two doramas I'm gonna watch are: 1 Pound no Fukuin (with Kame) and Tokyo Dogs. I don't know yet what to expect, I'll see soon enough.

Sayonara mina!


It's like a virus

Annyeong everyone,

Korean dramas are like a virus. You just can't fight them. You just have to watch them and look for new ones after you're finished, even if it interferes with your school work. It's like an illness, you can't help it.

The same goes for the Korean drama I just finished watching 3 seconds ago: Beethoven Virus. My favourite Korean actor is in it (Jang Geun Suk) and the girl from IRIS, but I forgot her name. At first I wasn't sure if it was worth my time. It's about a ragtag of "commoners" who come together to form an orchestra and the evil conductor who is known as the "Orchestra Killer".
But in the end, I loved it.
They have many problems but overcome them. They might now always get along very well, but they overcome that too. It's certainly not a feel-good drama like Full house or You're Beautiful, but it has its moments.
Only the ending was a bit weird, because it leaves you wondering what happens next. But that tends to happen to the best of dramas. Beethoven Virus is one of the most outstanding dramas I've seen so far. I recommend it to everyone!

Now I'm going to focus more on Japanese doramas, because I've only seen one: Hotman. I'd like to see more of those, so no more Korean dramas for me for a while. (But I wanna see Chuno real bad!!!!)

Sayonara mina!


Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise

Annyeong everyone,

Unfortunately this idiom doesn't apply to me. Ever since I was 12 I've had trouble sleeping. I've absolutely no problem with waking up though; I always wake up at 10 to 6 am. ALWAYS. No matter if it's the weekend or a holiday. I might stay in bed longer, but I'll always be doing something. Reading, thinking, daydreaming. Anything but sleeping.
It's just my biological clock, can't help it. But sleeping, now that's the real problem. It takes several hours for me to fall asleep, even when I'm dead tired. I've tried to make myself physically tired, didn't work. I've tried listening to music, didn't work. It even makes it worse.
You see, even when I'm not listening to music, there's always a song playing in my head. Even if I'm busy with other things, there's always a song playing through my mind on repeat. I can't seem to stop it, merely change the song. OTL

I've even tried to empty my mind - which I'm no good at, I fail miserably at meditating - but all that happens is this: I try to force my thoughts out by thinking things like "Stop" or "Go away!" or "Don't think". However this only makes things more difficult. That one thought becomes the only thought in my head. And it repeats itself on and on and on. Something like this: "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" X 100000000000000000 into infinity.

I think my sleeping problems come from my over-active brain. I'm always thinking or brooding or daydreaming or picturing. My brain is always busy. So I usually go to bed around 8 pm (yeah I know, early) to give my body the rest it needs, but I'll be staring at the ceiling for hours, fantasizing away until I finally fall asleep. Yet I'm never tired when I wake up. What's up with that?

Curse ya faulty brain! Kekeke, I'm just kidding. Even though my brain is always working and making me daydream, even when I'm watching tv or listen to music - which means I'm living my life zoned out completely ^0^ - I'm content. That's just the way I am and how I work. 
Besides, my over-active brain has given me a lot of advantages too. It has given me my own imaginary realm of wonder from which I get inspiration for my novels and provides me with an escape from the real world when I need a break. My brain has given me the capacity and ability to be open to, love and understand cultures/languages other than mine and given me a special interest I will treasure for the rest of my life.
Maybe my brain is wired differently compared to others, but that doesn't make it any better or worse. Just different. Unique. And we should all treasure our uniqueness, right?  

Uniqueness hwaiting!! Special interest gambare!! Repeated music in my head hwaiting!!

Sayonara mina!


The time is now!

Annyeong everyone,

I wasn't going to post today but to quote Lee Hyori: "The time is now!" I should't postpone if I don't have to. Today I finally finished IRIS and though it was epic, the ending was very sad. I heard there is going to be a season two, but I have no idea how they want to pull that one of. Most of the important characters are dead. But who knows? It might be another epic drama.

I also went to my aunt and my cousins. I might have told you about it already; they've got an American bulldog puppy. He is the cutest thing ever! He was so enthusiastic and happy to meet us! He was very eager to play with us and cuddle with us, kekeke.
I had my doubts about him at first, but not anymore. I do hope he calms down a little when he's older and bigger, because he's already very strong! He almost pulled my arm off!

Oh! I totally forgot! Yesterday I watched a movie called Ip Man, about Chinese martial arts and the history of China. Too bad it had poorly translated subtitles..I hardly had any inkling of what was going on! I understood the dialogue alright, but the Chinese writings weren't translated. Anyways, I would strongly suggest it. Great movie.

Sayonara mina!


Slush reading, Seuss style

Annyeong everyone,

I just found this on the internet and thought I'd share it with you:
Hope you enjoy it!

Sayonara mina


12 days of fleshing out characters

Annyeong everone *^o^*

Well, I'm not really going to be fleshing out characters: one per day seems pretty slow to me, kekeke. But yeah, I'm STILL working on them non-stop.
And the worst part is: when I finished one and begin to work on another, I suddenly get these brilliant ideas for the former! It's like I'm not getting any further and keep working on the same character over and over and over again. It's driving me crazy!! ToT
Anyhow, the plotting isn't going so well either. I have the basic plan in my head and the beginning on paper and now I'm stuck. I know what I want, but I just can't jot it down. But jotting it down is very important, because I have an unreliable memory. I sometimes  forget something 2 seconds after it's been told. I even have times when I walk into the kitchen/my room/any other place in the house and then realize I forgot what I was going to do. (EPIC FAIL)
That's why it's important for me to write ideas down or record them.

Well, I'm sure my head gets unstuck after a while and I'll be able to plot out my entire novel on paper or the computer. I'll probably write it down first anyways and then type it all out on the computer...And I'll probably hit my head against my imaginary wall for giving myself extra work.
Ah well....story of my life. OTL

Sayonara mina!


Happy birthday Changmin!

Annyeong everyone,

Today is the 22nd birthday (or 23rd in Korea) of the funniest maknae in the Korean entertainment business! I hope you have a wonderful day and I wish you good health and happiness for all the years to come, Changminnie!

I've always liked Changmin, even when Junsu stole his cute image, kekeke. He's witty, smart and serious all at the same time. Changmin usually doesn't say that much, but when he does, he's just as funny as JaeJoong. He has the greatest comebacks!
He's often described as a young boy with old man's brain...and it's often been said that I have an old mind as well. Let's just take that as a compliment, Max. Put all your worries behind you and have a great day! You deserve it.

Watch their debut song to see him still being cute:

Sayonara mina


Just a QuickE!

Annyeong everyone,

I watched DBSK's newly released drama Dating on Earth. I think it's actually a lot better than their banjun dramas, because there's more drama. But SME totally ruined the thing by editing out vital scenes! You should really watch the scenes that were cut out, becaue if you've seen those, the story suddenly makes a lot more sense!
All in all, a fun drama to watch. =D

Sayonara mina!


Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy's heart instead of her tummy

Annyeong everyone,

Now, everyone who 'knows' me - and with knowing I actually mean: has had a deep and meaningful conversation with - knows I've always wanted to adopt. Ever since I was young and knew the meaning of adoption, I wanted to do it. It's become a dream for me, an ambition (just like emigration, because I ain't staying here!!!). I'm only 18 while I'm writing this, so technically I shouldn't be thinking of having children at all (only the way of 'making' them) but I've caught myself often daydreaming and worrying about my future adoptive children.

My reason for adoption? Why not give an orphan the love/care he or she needs? Why overpopulate the world even more when there are so many parentless children who need your love and affection? Now I'm not saying you shouldn't have children of your own, but that's not the only possibility to create a family.
Ever since I was little I began searching for information on adoption (mostly through English sites though) and I think I have an good idea what it's gonna be like.
Of course, you never know what it will BE like until you experience it.

I want to adopt Asia...specificly Japan, South-Korea and in a lesser sense China. Why? Because I think when you from adopt, you should always teach your children about their culture. I happen to know a bit more about the cultures of Japan and South-Korea. I want to adopt from China for a number of other reasons: one being that my ancerstors came from China.
I realize that it's going to be blaringly obvious for everyone to see that my future adoptive kids are adopted, but should that matter?
To illustrate what I'm talking about, I'll explain my heritage. I'm a mix of a lot of races, but I guess you could classify me as black. I'm not a big fan of being called black, because my hair is black and my skin brown, but that's beside the point. Those who don't care about my descent: please, scroll on down!

My blood comes from:

~ China --> my ancestors from my mom's side appearantly. This doesn't show in my appearance at all, though when I tell my friends about my ancestory they often mention the eyes. My eyes however aren't slanted, they're almond shaped. Angelina Jolie also has almond shaped eyes...get my point? Nothing Asian about that. I do have to mention that I'm the only one in my family that is SO fascinated by Asia and it's culture. My niece often jokingly calls me an alien. I also feel more connected with the Asian culture than any of the other cultures my blood/birth links me to. I'm especially proud of my surname: Tjong Ayong.

~ Suriname (Surinam) --> Everyone who knows a little about Suriname, knows there are a lot of different cultures and races present there. A lot of  Surinamese people are mixed. As am I. Eveyone of my family is Surinamese, but they also have other ancestory. My mother's Surinamese side has its roots in China. If you want to know more about Suriname, please look it up, don't ask me. I hardly know anything about Suriname, I can't even understand/speak/read/write the language. Is that a bad thing? Maybe. My mom has often said I should be more interested in my heritage, but isn't the Asian culture part of my heritage too? Okay, I'm more interested in Japan and South-Korea...let's move on, shall we?

~ Java --> My father's side. An island belonging to Indonesia, please correct me if I'm wrong. I really don't know much about Java, but I want to learn more. It lies in Southeast Asia (maybe that's another reason why I love Asia so much).

~ India --> My father's side. I also don't know as much about India as I should. Only that it's in the south of Asia. I've watched a few Bollywood movies (hated them) but I don't think that's representative for it's culture. I know cows are holy...That's pretty cool.

~ The Netherlands --> Born and raised here! Still being "raised" here XD. Born in Amsterdam, lived there for 7 years. There is an article about Dutch customs and etiquette: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_customs_and_etiquette . Some things are true, some somewhat, some not. But I found it quite entertaining. I've read a couple of discussions on the internet about how the Dutch are insanely rude and how the country's going to pot. This isn't true (not for all Dutch people anyways). If you want me to adress these aspects, let me know. I'll give you my two cents.

We also have some Indian (read Native American) blood in the family, but let's not go there right now. I'm totally clueless about anyways.

~~~~~~~Back to the topic of adoption:

I can see myself adopting children from firstborns to toddlers. I wouldn't consider teenagers if it were my 'first' child, because I wouldn't be experienced enough for that.  However I just read somewhere that South-Korea is trying to reduce the percentage of transracial/transcultural adoptions. And that they want to put a full stop on it in 2012. And I hear adopting in Japan is frowned upon. I don't know if I should be worried or not.

Two things about adoption are bothering me though:

1) The fact that adopting seems to have become a trend. Everyone is doing it nowadays. It's the celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna who have made it so popular. Now there's nothing wrong with that, but when people start adoption only because famous people are doing it and it's IN, that's when it becomes dangerous. People don't really think about the consequences any more. You need to adopt because you want to and have wanted to for a long time, not because the Rich and Famous are doing it!

2) Renaming those kids. I believe that if you adopt you should try to maintain their birthname, or at least give them a name in their own language. If their birthname is completely pronounceable, keep it. If it isn't, try to change it to a similar name in the same language, or one with the same meaning. IF, and I emphasise IF, you change the name; give the kid a cool name. Don't give them a totally Dutch or American or whatever country your from name. Just don't. A name is part of one's identity. Don't change a name like Seul Gi (pronounceable) into Kitty.
For the love of [insert prefered deity here] DON'T. And please, don't give them names that will invite bullying from everyone from children to adults. You don't name your kid 'Pilot Inspector'  unless you want him to be bullied. Don't you think your kids will hate you when you give them a name like Pixie, AudioVisual or Chemical reaction? Don't give them car brand names, don't name them after your dog and don't give them 57 middle names! JUST DON'T!

Well, that was my rant about adoption. If there are like-minded people out there of my age, drop me a comment. I'd like to have a deep and meaningful conversation with you, if possible.

Sayonara mina!


Out of my mind

Annyeong everyone,

The strangest thing happened to me yesterday! The only reason I'm writing about this now, is because yesterday I had not the time nor the mindset to write about that strange and awful event.

I had a lecture about trends in the media which was going to take up 3 hours. Now there's nothing wrong with that except for the fact that the building we were in has no tables so you have to use your own lap as one, and that seriously comprimises your handwriting.
Well, my handwriting is horrible and unreadable to anyone but me anyways, so maybe I shouldn't complain. But that's beside the point.

I was sitting, all ready to learn and all that, when IT happened. I don't know what it was or how to call it. ( Sensory overload, instant brain malfunction??) It took me by surprise. Let me explain what happend: I was trying to concentrate on the teacher - which was already a hard job because she kept stopping in mid-sentence and starting over again - but for some reason I couldn't.
The people behind me were talking, the people next to me were talking, the people in front of me were talking; everyone everywhere was talking. A problem? Usually not, it's kinda normal.

Yesterday, however, I couldn't filter the sounds. Trying to focus only on what the teacher was saying became impossible. Thinking became impossible. Suddenly I couldn't filter out ANY sound. And then, in a last desperate attempt to avoid me going mental, my brain just shut down. Leaving me in a state of sheer confusion.
I left the lecture early and just concentrated on my music and nothing else while going home. When I came home, my mom was playing music and to my ears it sounded terrible loud. She then started talking to me and I realized I wasn't able to filter out the music while she talked. I almost slipped back into a shutdown. I begged my mom to turn off the music.

Weird aye? A little creepy too.

I've always had problems with sound. My little sister and my mom tend to turn on sound (TV, radio etc) very loud. At least to me. I'm always asking them to turn the noise down. That's one of the reasons I don't like going out. There are too many (loud) sounds: the music, the people talking to each other, people talking to me, people who sing along with the music. It's hell.
That and the flickering lights. Concerts are easier - not that I go to concerts frequently - because I only have to concentrate on the music. When I focus on one thing only, everything else disappears. But it's not like I can't multitask. Heavens no! I'm a champion at multitasking if I may say so myself.
I'm afraid of thunder and lightening, but it's the thunder that has the scariest impact on me, while I know that thunder is harmless and lightening could actually kill you. I just have issues with sounds. Especially when they're loud.  

Well, let's just hope something like this never happens to me again,

Sayonara, mina


Chinese words of wisdom

Annyeong everyone,

Now...I can't speak, understand, write or read Chinese. But I remember we used to have this little book at home filled with Chinese words of wisdom...translated to Dutch of course.

I'd like to share it with you, so I'll translate the Dutch translation of the Chinese into English. Yeah I know 0.o

"If there is a fly on the forehead of your friend, do not remove it with an axe."

Seriously...that's what it said. I think it's inspirational...sorta...kinda...

Anyways, we should follow that advice!

Sayonara, mina!


Dogbreeders, wake up and do something!

Annyeong everyone...

Just a link I wanted to post, to make people aware of the problems many dogbreeds face these days.
It's a very touching BBC documentary and shows just how selfish and ignorant humans can be when it concerns dogs.


I would say enjoy...but I doubt you will.

Sayonara mina

Top dog

Annyeong everyone,

I love dogs. Not all dogs of course, only the ones who still remotely look like wolves. Why? Because I love wolves. But let's keep my love for those wise and beautiful creatures for another post. I got the idea for this post when my aunt announced she has bought a American bulldog pup. I'm really curious how he is (because I'm not a fan of bulldogs at all). We're probably going to visit him in two weeks or so.

So, wolflike dogs. Which breeds have what it requires to be "wolflike"? Well, the smaller breeds obviously don't qualify. A Poodle or a Terrier doesn't doesn't even look like a wolf anymore. (Some Poodles don't even look like dogs anymore...poor animals) BTW: I'm listing these wolflike breeds randomly and I'm only commenting elaborately on the first breed.

The 1st breed (and my personal favourite!!!) is the wolfhound. You have two different breeds of wolfhounds: the Czechoslovakian Wolfdog and the Saarlooswolfhond (Saarloos Wolfhound).

                                                             Czechoslovakian Wolfdog:  

Saarloos wolfhond:

Now, my favourite of the two is the Saarloos, mainly because it looks a little bit more wolfish than the Czech. I would like to own a Saarloos or two when I'm older. Maybe a Czech too, though a Czech still retains more doggish behaviour. I've heard the Czech is much like a German Shepard in nature.
I'm trying to find as much info on these two as possible, but because they're both a relative 'new' breed, there's not that much information.  The Saarloos is a Dutch breed and is mostly seen in The Netherlands and Germany...but I haven't actually seen them on the street yet. The Saarloos has a very reserved personalities and will sonner flee than fight.

The 2nd breed is the Alaskan Malamute:

Has a broader face than a wolf....but still

The 3rd breed is the Belgian Shepherd Dog (Groenendael):

Still has a bit of wolflike features, don't you think?

The 4th breed is the Berger Blanc Suisse:
The puppy is so cute!

The 5th breed is the German Shepherd:
Doglike, yes. Wolflike...more so than others...

The 6th breed is the Greenland Dog:
Northern breeds often tend to look more wolflike.

The 7th breed is the Seppala Siberian Sleddog:
Looks a bit like a husky, right?

The 8th breed is the Shiba Inu:
Yeah...remember what I said about small breeds...wel this one's pretty small too.

The 9th breed is the Shikoku:
Yay, a Japanese breed like the Shiba Inu!

The 10th breed is the Siberian Husky:
There's no way this one isn't on my list!

The 11th breed is the Tamaskan Dog:
Wow...these look so much like wolves!

Well that was it for now, if you have any suggestions, please leave a comment!

Sayonara mina