2/28/10

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise

Annyeong everyone,

Unfortunately this idiom doesn't apply to me. Ever since I was 12 I've had trouble sleeping. I've absolutely no problem with waking up though; I always wake up at 10 to 6 am. ALWAYS. No matter if it's the weekend or a holiday. I might stay in bed longer, but I'll always be doing something. Reading, thinking, daydreaming. Anything but sleeping.
It's just my biological clock, can't help it. But sleeping, now that's the real problem. It takes several hours for me to fall asleep, even when I'm dead tired. I've tried to make myself physically tired, didn't work. I've tried listening to music, didn't work. It even makes it worse.
You see, even when I'm not listening to music, there's always a song playing in my head. Even if I'm busy with other things, there's always a song playing through my mind on repeat. I can't seem to stop it, merely change the song. OTL

I've even tried to empty my mind - which I'm no good at, I fail miserably at meditating - but all that happens is this: I try to force my thoughts out by thinking things like "Stop" or "Go away!" or "Don't think". However this only makes things more difficult. That one thought becomes the only thought in my head. And it repeats itself on and on and on. Something like this: "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" "Don't think" X 100000000000000000 into infinity.

I think my sleeping problems come from my over-active brain. I'm always thinking or brooding or daydreaming or picturing. My brain is always busy. So I usually go to bed around 8 pm (yeah I know, early) to give my body the rest it needs, but I'll be staring at the ceiling for hours, fantasizing away until I finally fall asleep. Yet I'm never tired when I wake up. What's up with that?

Curse ya faulty brain! Kekeke, I'm just kidding. Even though my brain is always working and making me daydream, even when I'm watching tv or listen to music - which means I'm living my life zoned out completely ^0^ - I'm content. That's just the way I am and how I work. 
Besides, my over-active brain has given me a lot of advantages too. It has given me my own imaginary realm of wonder from which I get inspiration for my novels and provides me with an escape from the real world when I need a break. My brain has given me the capacity and ability to be open to, love and understand cultures/languages other than mine and given me a special interest I will treasure for the rest of my life.
Maybe my brain is wired differently compared to others, but that doesn't make it any better or worse. Just different. Unique. And we should all treasure our uniqueness, right?  

Uniqueness hwaiting!! Special interest gambare!! Repeated music in my head hwaiting!!

Sayonara mina!

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